Growing up, did you think you were difficult to deal with? Or has someone ever told you that you are difficult? Do you worry about small things for a long time, often feel anxious or guilty, and feel that you can't do many things well?
American psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron proposed the concept of "highly sensitive people" in 1996. She pointed out: Highly sensitive people are easily affected by stimulation from the external environment. For example, they are easily affected by other people's emotions or cannot stay in places with too much stimulation.
Always thinking too much? You may be a "highly sensitive person"
In addition, the five senses (sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell) of highly sensitive people are more acute than that of ordinary people, so the following discomforts are easily amplified. For example, they cannot bear the smell of cigarettes or perfume, or cannot bear the presence of many people. Noisy places, dislike of physical contact from others, skin easily red, swollen and itchy, etc.
Generally speaking, we prefer people who are optimistic, cheerful, lively and outgoing; therefore, highly sensitive people may be considered by the outside world to think too much, be too fragile, and suffer inexplicable pressure.
Highly sensitive people may show symptoms at a very early age. For example, babies may cry easily, have trouble falling asleep at night or wake up easily, are active, are easily frightened, have irregular work and rest periods, react violently to changes in habits, and take a long time to adapt to new people. and environment. We call this kind of child a "difficult child", who tests the patience of his parents.
You are not alone! One in every five people is a "highly sensitive person"
If you have a hypersensitive child in your family, parents often have difficulty understanding what is wrong with their child, and may even feel headaches. Because there may be various annoyances in life that make children angry and parents go crazy.
For example, when our second child was three years old, every time after washing his hands, he would get angry if his sleeves were even a little wet, or he would get angry if his hands were not dried. Sometimes, one paper towel is not enough and I want to ask for a second one. I feel it is a waste and I don't want to give it. The second child bursts into tears the next second.
Having said that, I am actually a highly sensitive person myself. When I was a child, I had many worries, but in the eyes of adults, these are trivial matters.
For example, when I was in junior high school, I would feel bad because I did not do well in exams. I would be angry at myself for being careless and blame myself for just one or two points. I would also worry that I had done something wrong or feel alienated because my best friend did not ask me to go to the bathroom. I often worry about small things for a long time, and soon I will have new worries.
Many children with interpersonal or emotional difficulties are often highly sensitive. For example, they are sentimental, often have many small theaters in their hearts, have high mood swings, have high self-requirements, and are more likely to think negatively and have negative feelings (such as self-blame and guilt).
In fact, it's not your fault that you are highly sensitive. According to research, one in every five people is a "highly sensitive person", and you are not alone.
The precious abilities of highly sensitive people
For a long time, I decided I had enough of my own high sensitivity. I often feel bad because of the slightest disturbance, and I am easily affected by external things, which makes me feel uncomfortable and painful. However, since reading the book "High Sensitivity is a Gift", I deeply feel that I am empathized with. As the title of the book says, high sensitivity is a unique gift.
Being highly sensitive makes me suffer, but also because I have so many delicate and complex feelings, I became a psychologist, not only trying to heal myself, but also to better understand the pain in the hearts of others. Because of other people's suffering, I have also gone through it.
You may also have many valuable abilities, such as:
- Have rich emotions and rich imagination, are easily moved, and can better appreciate the beauty of the world.
- Have a high degree of empathy and can consider others well.
- Think deeply and multi-faceted.
- Be thorough, cautious and attentive.
- Ability to recognize minimal differences in sounds or smells.
- Can receive multiple external messages at the same time.
5 ways to help yourself if you are a highly sensitive person
1. Enjoy your heightened sensitivity
Over the past few years, I've found that I've come to appreciate my heightened sensitivity more and more. For example, when I listen to some social issues or in-depth interview programs, or sometimes just some small things in life, I will be deeply moved.
I also like to enjoy the chirping of insects and birds in nature and the time spent chatting with others. I have strong curiosity about many things and am willing to learn more deeply and enjoy learning. I also invite you to think about it, what makes your high sensitivity different from others?
2. You just need someone who can catch you
You will be happy because of the little things, but you will often be in a bad mood because of the little things. You'll be better off when you have someone who catches you, doesn't judge, and listens to you.
3. Practice loving yourself and being friends with your own high sensitivity
If there is always a lack of someone in your life who can catch you, or other people's confusion and doubts about you, it will make you very hurt. Remember, now that you are older, you can practice catching yourself. You are your own best friend and the person who knows you best. When we were children, we may have been told by others that we thought too much and had a glassy heart, but now, you will become more and more able to live with your high sensitivity.
4. Practice self-care and avoid overstimulating your five senses.
If you know when you feel uncomfortable, for example if you are sensitive to hearing, you can reduce your attendance at noisy gatherings or socializing with unfamiliar people.
Setting boundaries for yourself, or calling it quits when appropriate, is a good way to take care of yourself.
You may not like roller coasters at amusement parks, but that doesn't mean you can't enjoy amusement park activities. You can also enjoy them with other gentler facilities (like carousels). You may not like the crowds at New Year's Eve parties or watching fireworks, but watching the TV broadcast at home with your loved ones may also make you feel extremely happy.
When you are in a bad mood, you can also calm yourself by exercising, chatting with friends, writing in a diary, etc.
5. Accept the hardships caused by high sensitivity
Everything has two sides to the same coin, and high sensitivity may make you suffer, such as being sentimental and easily falling into a cycle of negative thinking. When your mood is affected by your high sensitivity, please practice stopping blaming yourself and not blaming yourself for being in a bad mood. Just let your emotions flow naturally, and when you're well angry and sad, you'll feel better.
If you are a highly sensitive person, can you practice accepting yourself as you are instead of trying to be the perfect version of yourself? Remember, being highly sensitive may make you suffer, but it is also your most precious gift.
