It's actually rude to ask someone "what do you do?" Workplace observations from psychologists and general managers

In social occasions such as banquets or class reunions, when you reunite with classmates you have not seen for a long time, or when you have the opportunity to make new friends, after a simple greeting, a common question is: "What do you do?"

Recently, the American community and foreign media have begun to discuss the need to stop asking others "What do you do?" Why might this topic be inappropriate?

"What do you do?" implies multiple judgments about people's socioeconomic status and income.

Wall Street Journal (WSJ) columnist and "Next! The Power of Reinvention in Life and Work". Joanne Lipman said, "What do you do?" This question implies multiple judgments about others: social status, income, and educational background.

A netizen on Reddit, an American online discussion board, pointed out that he was uncomfortable talking about career when they first met, because this question tied a person's identity to his career. If you are a stay-at-home father (mother), a newly unemployed employee, a partner who relies on casework or part-time work, or a retired person, it may be a bit embarrassing to answer such an inquiry. It may even make people think that the other party is using this question to gauge whether it is worth spending time communicating with me in the future.

When you don't have a job, you often find it difficult to define your self-worth.

The 35-year-old Ashley. has been fired twice. Ashley Scott said that when asked "What do you do?", she would subconsciously say: "I am in graduate school." Because she found that if the reply was "I am looking for a new job, or I have just been hired" "Fired", people will look at you and think you are a loser.

Joanne explained that for most people in society, work is not only a means of making a living, but also a way to define themselves and others. Psychologists describe this as an "enmeshment" phenomenon.

This concept originally described the blurring of boundaries between people and others, and unhealthy dependence. For example, when children choose a career, they completely rely on their parents' opinions and ignore their own interests. It extends to the workplace, where people cannot be separated from their careers. , causing us to be unable to recognize our own value when we are unemployed and have no title.

The epidemic and the wave of layoffs have led to the diversification of work imagination, and titles no longer define life.

The Guardian pointed out that during the period of economic downturn and rising unemployment, more and more people began to think: How to adapt to a life without work? The BBC pointed out that during the COVID-19 epidemic (2020-2021), the unemployment rate in the United States soared to 15%. After the epidemic, inflation led to increased business costs in the United States, and technology giants Amazon, Google, Meta and other companies laid off employees on a large scale.

According to statistics from Layoffs.fyi, nearly 1,200 US technology companies announced layoffs in 2023, affecting approximately 260,000 employees. With the emergence of mass layoffs, affected employees may want to break away from the labels of their profession or company title and explore other possibilities in life.

In addition, the younger generation no longer defines themselves by career. The BBC cited a 2023 LinkedIn survey of more than 7,000 employees around the world and found that 64% of Generation Z (born after 1997) believe it is important to find a job that is consistent with personal values. Danielle Farage, a 2020 USC graduate said that a good job no longer means working for a well-known company, but a position that matches your interests and has the opportunity to build your personal brand. For example, she serves as the marketing director of a new start-up.

Josh Graff, managing director of LinkedIn Europe, Middle East and Africa and Latin America, also said that compared with the job hunting environment 20 years ago, there is now more information and people have more diverse choices, including starting a business, taking on cases, etc. The BBC pointed out that young people are no longer willing to work 60 hours a week for a company and lose their quality of life just for a title.

Find interests and values ​​outside of work, redefine and introduce yourself

How can we rethink the connection between work and personal self-perception? Joanne suggests re-exploring new interests and learning to affirm yourself.

52-year-old Angela Calman suddenly suffered from a rare disease and had to leave her beloved anchor job. Later, she used her past media expertise to write down her journey related to the rare disease and share it with her patients. By establishing interests outside of work, such as accompanying children to do homework and participating in marathons, everyone can rediscover their own value beyond their professional title and create new methods of self-realization.

You can also change the way you communicate with others. Instead of asking "What do you do?" as an ice-breaking question, ask instead "What do you like to do?" and "What brings you happiness?"

When asked about career-related questions, Forbes suggests that you can describe the areas you are good at or passionate about instead of company introduction or job description, such as "I like interviews and am interested in business strategy" instead. "I am the interview editor of such-and-such magazine." This method makes your answer more distinctive and makes it easier to start a conversation with others. You might as well try this way of expression the next time you attend a party, it may bring you unexpected communication opportunities!

Sources: BBC, Forbes, WSJ, The Guardian